PORK chops cremated in bottled sweet chilli sauce, undercooked asparagus spears... cooking doesn't get ROUGHER than this...
Welcome back Masterchef Goes Large!
Only two episodes in to the new series and already I am hooked.
BBC Two's daily dose of Gregg Wallace and John Torode has preserved me from the post-Christmas blues.
I delight at the first round 'invention test', imaging what I'd cook as a contestant, and I love to watch the amateurs sweat it out in the pro-kitchen.
Similarly, I play along in the final round, musing over what I'd serve up as my 'two best plates of food'.
Admittedly, I'd struggle as my food lacks finesse - although I'd hope that Gregg would still tuck in with a big spoon, before proclaiming, 'Cor, blimey, that's good.'
If this series follows the same pattern as last year's (which if Gregg and John's dialogue is anything to go by, it will), the three finalists get to work in some of the world's top restaurants. In 2008, James, Jonny and Emily proved their mettle in Bras, Pierre Gagnaire and Troisgros - all three Michelin star restaurants in France.
This, for me, was the highlight of the series and I can't wait to see where the top trio are sent this year.
In the mean time I will very much enjoy the heats, safe in the knowledge that I may not be Gordon Ramsay, but I can cook a pork chop...
Have you tuned in to Masterchef Goes Large yet? What do you think?