I'M ASHAMED to admit that my run of bad behaviour recently detailed in 'Ain't Misbehavin', doesn't stop at fancy restaurants.
It extends to weddings too.
At one wedding reception, after far too much vino, I decided it would be a good idea to empty bowls of Pringles into my handbag for the taxi ride home.
And there was another unashamed display of gluttony when I took a plastic spoon and scrapped off and ate the creamy, fruity topping of an entire gateaux. The boy tells me that fellow guests looked on, aghast and in horror. I am surprised he didn't disown me.
We've also been known to order bowls of chips to eat in that ceaseless downtime between ceremony and wedding breakfast.
But at Saturday's celebration, I'd signed a pre-nuptial agreement and was on my very best behaviour.
And rightly so, because the upmarket surroundings of Clearwell Castle in Gloucestershire certainly warranted it.
I was restrained when the post-ceremony canapes arrived, delicately nibbling at the delicious satay chicken skewers and goats' cheese and onion crostini.
Maybe the fact that we'd called at KFC on the way helped perish my hunger.
However, when it was finally time for the wedding breakfast, my appetite had returned with a vengeance. It was only the fact we were in new company that kept me from raiding the bread basket.
Fortunately a good, hot bowl of tomato and basil soup for starters allowed me to dip my hand into the dish of dough, and knife into the butter.
Main course quickly followed, featuring sweet roast lamb with red currants on creamy dauphinoise potatoes. There were also dishes of roast potatoes, squash, carrots and parsnips and braised red cabbage doing the rounds, as well as a jug of gravy.
I thought wedding food was supposed to be bad, but this was delectable, especially the moreish cabbage and fluffy roast spuds.
A pudding of light strawberry syllabub with a strawberry tuile, rounded off the meal nicely, although I still found the room for one-and-a-half petit fours.
Sadly, we didn't stay for the evening buffet. Probably best though, as I was only carrying a very small handbag with absolutely no room for Pringles, pork pies or pickled onions...
What is the best wedding food you have eaten? Let me know...