Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Criminal Record

I'VE criminally neglected my own kitchen, eating out six times in six days.
My only mitigation is that I am single-handedly reviving the flagging British economy, even if that means purging my own bank account.
Here is the evidence....

Friday, July 17 12:30hours

Crime: Lunch Break (Like Prison Break, but with fewer tattoos)
Scene: Marks and Spencer Cafe Revive, High Street, Worcester
Accomplice: Breaking bread with best pal Claire
Evidence: Tomato and basil soup, granary bread roll, butter
Verdict: In the soup
Sentence: Prisoner Cell Block H (for hungry)

Friday, 19:00 hours

Crime: Bangkok Dangerous
Scene: Barton Arms, Newtown, Birmingham. Friday
Accomplice: The (Lady)Boy and I
Evidence: Tuk-tuked into tasty Thai food including prawn crackers, crispy squid with sweet chilli dip, chicken and cashew nuts with steamed rice.
Verdict: Belly like a Buddha
Sentence: Thai-me spent in the Bangkok Hilton

Saturday, July 18, 19:30hours

Crime: Battery
Scene: Mediterranean Fish Bar, Broad Street, Worcester
Accomplice (s): Couch potatoes (Mum, the Boy and me)
Evidence: Half a portion of fish, chips and mushy peas, with a litre of red sauce
Verdict: Caught red-handed
Sentence: Porridge

Monday, July 20, 17:30hours

Crime: Burger-lary
Scene: Gourmet Burger Kitchen, Mailbox, Birmingham
Accomplice: Mum and me
Evidence: Chilli chicken salad
Verdict: Chips are down
Sentence: The Lambshank Redemption

Tuesday, July 21, 13:00hours

Crime: Spending more dough
Scene: EAT, The Bull Ring, Birmingham
Accomplice: Mother and I
Evidence: Crayfish and rocket sandwich, garden vegetable soup
Verdict: Bread falls on the buttered side
Sentence: Knuckle sandwich

Wednesday, July 22, 19:30hours

Crime: Playing chicken
Scene: Nandos, Fiveways, Birmingham
Accomplice: The boy and his chick (me)
Evidence: Chicken breast in a pitta (lemon and herb), large green salad, corn on the cob, banana frozen yogurt
Verdict: Peri-peri naughty
Sentence: Chicken Run

Tell me your eating out crimes, including your partner's in crime, the evidence against you, and what sentence you are facing...

8 comments:

Thinspired said...

Hehe--I like this ;)
It doesn't sound like the crime at GBK was nearly as bad as it could have been!
Also, Nando's as banana fro yo?! What?!

Emily said...

Oh yes. It always has fro-yo. Different flavours every day. Banana is top banana, but vanilla is also good. Plus it's bottomless, so you can eat as much as you like!

Heavenly Housewife said...

What an adorable post :)

Emily said...

Thanks HH. Enjoyed your curry post too. Made me crave a curry, just about the only thing I haven't had in the last six days!

them apples said...

Six meals out in six days? Not bad going.

I managed three consecutive meals out the other week, but now I feel like an amateur.

Cupcakes And Peonies said...

Hello, there is a little award for you over at my blog!! xx

ratzxfink said...

love this ingenious crime angle that you have taken. thanks.

Ruth said...

Love it, so funny! thank you so much for saving our economy! :)